:-)

Felt sorry for the hypnotist i saw last night. He put seven rugby players into a trance, but dropped his microphone on his foot and yelled "F**K ME" What happened next will haunt me forever
 
 
Man naked, looks in the mirror and says to his wife "why do i always get a hard on when i look at myself? Wife replys "cause even your c**k thinks your a f***y
 
 
Wife treats hubby by taking him to a lap club for his b.day. Doorman says "ok jim hows tricks? Wife asks, how does he knowu? jim says, er, i play footy with him. Inside, the barman says, usual jim? jim says before u say any thing hes on the darts team in my local. Nexy a lapdancer says Hi jim d'ya want the special again? Wife storms out dragging jim with her and jumps in a taxi, Driver says f**k me jim youve pulled a minger this time