Octopus

Just stolen this from another forum.....i laughed

An octopus walks into a bar and says "I can play ANY musical
instrument going."

An Englishman gives him a guitar which he plays better than Hendrix.

An Irishman gives him a piano which he plays better than Elton John.

Then a Scotsman throws him a set of bag pipes.

The Octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman
says "What¹s wrong can ye no play it?"

The Octopus replies "Play it? - I'm gonna f**k her brains out once I
get her pyjamas off!!!