Random jokes

Naughty boy draws a penis on the black board. Lady teacher rubs it off. Next day he draw's a bigger one & writes "remeber the more you rub the bigger it gets"

A jewish girl calls her mother, "mum i'm getting a divorce. "a divorce? why?" the mother asked shocked, "mum all he wants is anal sex, I used to have a lovely little bumhole the size of a 5p piece now its the size of a 50p piece. The mother says "sweetie, you have a lovely home, a porsche, a platinum credit card, a villa in marbella, kids in a private school, and 6 holidaus a year and u want to give all that up for 45p?

I was having great sex theother day when kist as we got towards the climax my wife completely ruined the moment and said those three words that just fills a mans heard with dread, "Honey i'm home"

paddy caught his wife having an affair & decides to kill the bitch & himself. As he puts the gun to his head, he looks at his wife & says dont laugh your next

2 drunk men visit a brothel. The Madame takes one look at them & says, "put inflatable dolls in the bedrooms, they're too old & drunk to notice. During the walk home the first man says, "I think my girl was dead she didn't move or make a sound. The second guy says, "Could be worse i think mine was a witch" "A witch? Why the hell would you say that?" "well i gave her a little bite on the arse, she farted in my face & flew out the window